Trusting the Lord seems so foundational and even elementary in the Christian walk. But if it is so elementary, why is it also so difficult? Until recent times I would have said that I trust the Lord completely. That is until I encountered a situation that I could not fix on my own. All throughout scripture the idea that that Lord is for me and my ultimate good is repeated. But what about when something bad happens? What about when the money isn't there? What about when the miracle doesn't happen? What if healing doesn't come? What if the relationship goes unmended? What if my cries go unanswered? Is God still for me then? Is God still working all things together for good? This is where the idea of trust meets the road of reality.
God has really been working on my heart with a revelation, the revelation that this is a fallen world, a world with pain and suffering. This is not a reflection of God's neglect, it is a reflection of our humanity, our free will and sinful nature. When something bad does happen so often my first instinct is to turn to God and ask “Why?” The answer is simple, because this is an imperfect world, this is a world that we were never intended to live in. What do I do with that? I mean really, how do I reconcile that in my heart? It is with this knowledge, that God is still the orchestrator and author of all good things, that nothing is too big or too hard for the Lord. God can take that which this fallen world sees as terrible and empty of any hope and turn it into a opportunity for His love to be shown. I have experienced this often enough in my spiritual walk that I should be able trust the Lord with each moment. When I am in the place that I feel as though I cannot take one more step, that all of my tears are cried, that my heart is broken in two, it is then that the Lord comes to my rescue. He scoops me up into His loving embrace, wipes my tears, and carries me the rest of the way.
Trials and suffering are going to exist in this broken world, sin and Satan make sure of that. It is in those moments of suffering that the choice must be made, to trust the Lord completely and know that He can take the ashes and make something beautiful from them, or to see the situation as irreparable and desolate. It is when I choose to trust that the greatest growth is experienced, it is when I let go of the wheel of my life and climb into the passenger seat (sometimes I really just need to be in the trunk so I can't try to take the wheel again!) that God can really flex His muscles, pour out His mercy and love, and make something beautiful out my pain. With all of this in mind I pray that I learn to trust the Lord without any exception, without wrestling and anxiety. That I begin to truly believe that the Lord of heaven and earth, creator of my soul, and lover of my heart is FOR ME, that He is working all things together for good. It is in that knowledge that I will find my solace and peace in tribulation and suffering.
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