Captivating Beauty

    A good friend of mine and I have had many conversations as of late that sound something like this... "I need to be eating better, I am so fat...   I need to be committed to going to the gym/working out I cannot believe I how much weight I have gained..." etc... I am sure you know the conversation.  Maybe you have had it yourself recently.  We are bombarded with images of women in our society that either plague us with insecurity or cause us to become bitter and cynical.  What is this desire for beauty? Why is it so central to our beings as women?  Is it God created? Could this insurmountable desire to be noticed, to be adored, be part of God's creation?  I would dare to say a resounding YES!!!  I am doing a lot of studying and reading on the issue of beauty and insecurity.  In the book "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldridge, this issue of the desire for beauty is largely addressed.  Stasi writes, "a woman knows, down in her soul, that she longs to bring beauty to the world.  She might be mistaken on how, but she longs for a beauty to unveil.  This is not just culture, or the need to "get a man".  This is in her heart, part of her design."  She goes on discussing how women are created in God's image, God is not inherently male or female, God has both masculine and feminine qualities.  That is why men and women are created so differently, yet so complementary.  Men long for a beauty to rescue, hence the "superhero" phase that some (including my husband) never grow out of :). Women desire to be sought after, to be adored, to be seen, which can be seen in the dress up, jewelry wearing, makeup dawning, twirling princess stage in most little girls.  These completely different desires are complementary of one another.  This is the Lords, heart in action.  He is a warrior, he is a valiant hero. Yet He also longs to be sought after. All throughout scripture God says "Seek Me" "Know Me" "Love Me".  How much does that sound like something I have thought in my head (and at times said out loud).  God's hearts desire is for us to desire Him.  God yearns to be known, to be sought after.
     So the desire to be found beautiful and yearned for came from the Lord.  However, I feel that most women doubt that they have any genuine beauty to unveil.  I know it is one of my deepest doubts.  I am so very aware of my shortcomings, my flaws and imperfections.  I am convinced ever so easily that I have nothing to offer, that there is nothing in me that is desirable, therefore I must try to muster up some form of beauty on my own accord.  But what is deeper than that lack of confidence in my outward appearance is my lack of confidence in God.  Stasi talks about this as well... "Eve was convinced by the serpent, convinced of what?  Convinced that God was holding out on her.  Convinced that she could not trust His heart toward her. Convinced that in order to have the best possible life, she must take matters into her own hands.  And so she did.  She is the first to fall.  In disobeying God she also violated her very essence."  How difficult it is to trust that the Lord's desire is for the best possible life for me, that I can trust His heart.  He alone knows my desires, He created them!  He can fulfill that undeniable, unquenchable thirst to be known, the be seen, to be adored, He only asks the same in return.  If we should ever doubt that beauty is the essence of God, simply take a look around... nature's soul purpose is not to be functional, but to be beautiful.  Beauty is inviting, nourishing, comforting, transcendent, beauty draws us to God.

Christmas Ponderings

    As the Christmas season gets thrown into full gear I was listening to a little girl talk about how her family reads the Christmas story together each year.  She said "I think I have heard it about a million times!" I could definitely understand her sentiment, I mean how many times have we heard the song Away In a Manger, or Silent Night? It's so easy to simply go through the motions of Christmas and miss the miracle that it represents.  As a new mommy I am seeing Christmas with a fresh new perspective.  I had never thought about the event through Mary's eyes.  I mean I knew that she was a virgin, not married, and an angel told her she would give birth to the Son of God that would be the Savior of all mankind.  But I had never thought about the physical, emotional, and social changes that Mary endured during her nine (actually ten, but that's a pretty well kept secret!) months carrying Emmanuel.   I remember during my first trimester how sick I was, I mean sick sick sick and so very tired.  Did Mary feel this way?  I then remember how nervous I was about every single thing I put in my body, how much more anxious would I have been if I was carrying the Hope for Salvation?  I also remember the excitement I felt the first time I felt Lynnlee move,  I can only imagine the love that abounded in Mary the first time she felt that sensation of Jesus growing and moving!  But the moment I most remember is the moment I first laid eyes on my baby girl.  She was so beautiful, tiny, and completely helpless.  I was overjoyed, and terrified simultaneously.  I was responsible for her well-being, I was her caregiver, she NEEDED me.  Though Mary knew that Jesus would ultimately be the King of kings, He was still born a tiny, beautiful, helpless baby.  Mary had the responsibility of nursing Him, changing Him, rocking Him to sleep.  I cannot begin to fathom the depth of love and fear that Mary felt.  She loved Jesus in a way that no other person on this earth could ever love Him, she loved Him as her son.  I know I love Lynnlee deeper than any other human being on earth, Travis might run a close second ;)  I am so proud of her every accomplishment no matter how small.  Mary would have felt the same pride and joy watching Jesus take His first steps, hearing Him first say "Mama".  What a miracle Jesus' birth truly is, fully God, yet completely human.  Complete perfection in a tiny baby.  That is the reason for Christmas, that is the reason we celebrate during this season.  Jesus gave up His right as God and came to dwell, even for a little while, among men.  And the one person who would recognize just how miraculous His birth is, was the same person that probably cried tears of joy and tears of fear the night He came into this world, His mother, Mary.  This song has meant so much more to me this year than it ever has before, I will close with the lyrics to Mary Did You Know?

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would one day walk on water?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would save our sons and daughters?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy has come to make you new?
This Child that you delivered will soon deliver you.

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy will give sight to a blind man?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy will calm the storm with His hand?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy has walked where angels trod?
When you kiss your little Baby you kissed the face of God?

Mary did you know.. Ooo Ooo Ooo

The blind will see.
The deaf will hear.
The dead will live again.
The lame will leap.
The dumb will speak
The praises of The Lamb.

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would one day rule the nations?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?
The sleeping Child you're holding is the Great, I Am.