I am a woman whose heart yearns for realness. Realness for myself, but also realness for women around me, for I know with realness comes freedom! I long for greater confidence in Christ and hope to inspire those I come into contact with to feel the same. This is a blog about my journey to transform into something more beautiful, something more real, like a butterfly. These are ponderings from a willing heart.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

The battle of surrender

Surrender, not exactly a word that is popular in our culture today. It's right up there with submission and obedience, words that bring more frustration than excitement.  However, during my time with God today I was challenged in my thinking of this word, surrender.  I truly believe it is not a word to be dreaded, but quite possibly the key to joy and peace in this world.  Allow me to explain... surrender, according to Webster's Dictionary is to give oneself over to another power.  That still doesn't sound too appealing, unless the other power that you are giving yourself to is the Lord.  God challenged me today as I was reading on the subject of surrender that I don't really understand the meaning of surrender according to His definition.  Surrender is not defeat, in fact it is the only way to have victory.  Surrender isn't being weak, it is recognizing that God is infinitely stronger.  It is not passive laziness or resignation, it's not for cowards or doormats, it doesn't mean we are less ourselves.  When I truly surrender, God can then make me more like the "myself" I was intended to be when He created me.  C.S. Lewis said "It is when I turn to Christ, when I give myself to His personality, that I first begin to have a personality of my own."  I cannot tell you how this resonates in my soul.  I have long said that as I am growing in my relationship with Christ that I am learning who I am.  I am learning how to be the individual me.  If I am not surrendering to Christ I will surrender to someone or something else, be it a person (husband, mother, friends, or someone else's opinion of who I should be), or an object like money, reputation, or the illusion of prestige or power.  I will surrender to something, God is wooing me to allow it to be Him!  When I surrender to His will and His desires I am then given something far better in return, something only He can truly give, something that is desired in the hearts of all humans, freedom!  Freedom, true freedom, is only found in surrender to God.  Sounds like an oxymoron but God's Word says it's true! The Bible talks about freedom from sin when we surrender to God, it talks about peace that passes understanding when we give our will over to God's will. Victory comes through surrender! 
The only issue is that surrender is not easy.  My stubbornness, pride, and arrogance all get in the way of true surrender.  I think that I can do it on my own, all by myself.  Like a foolish child I fight with all of my energy and strength to accomplish what I simply cannot do.  Only when I see myself clearly and see God in all His strength and perfection can I see the need for surrender.  Trusting God is difficult if I do not know His character, surrender requires that I trust Him completely.  I must trust that His will truly is best for my life,  that He loves me with an unending perfect love,  that He will keep all of His promises to me, when I trust those things about God surrender becomes not a sacrifice but a privilege.  Lord I pray that you continue to teach me through Your Word, who You are.  Your character.  Continue to reveal Yourself to me that I will trust you more and more.  I long to fully surrender, I long for true victory.  

All to Jesus, I surrender, all to Him I freely give
I will ever love and trust Him 
In His presence daily live
I surrender All
I surrender All
All to Thee my blessed Savior 
I surrender All