Beauty....

Do you think I'm beautiful?  As a woman, I must have asked this question a million times in my 25 years of life.  Sometimes out loud, when I'm feeling really vulnerable and in need of validation, sometimes silently in my heart.  Either way the sentiment was the same, someone tell me I'm valuable, that I'm worthy, that I'm seen.  In 2007 I was in a frenzy with this question crippling my heart.  I picked up a Bible study that was addressing this issue, and for the first time in my life I took this question to God.  My prayer was this "God do you really think I'm beautiful? With all my baggage and ugliness? When you look at me do you see someone really desirable? Can you really be in love with me? Am I worth it?"  That prayer was dated December 30, 2007.  Maybe you can relate... maybe you have prayed a similar prayer, or wanted to but didn't feel like it was appropriate.  Maybe, on the other hand, you have always been told you were beautiful, but nothing more and beauty doesn't seem appealing to you.  Either way God's reply to my prayer has been resounding since that night in 2007, "That desire to feel beautiful I placed in your heart has served it's purpose. I am wildly in love with you. I am the answer to your longing, the 'more' your heart is waiting for is Me."

I had spent most of my life looking for someone who made me feel beautiful, smart, funny, and worthy of love.  I may find it for moments of time, only to be disappointed when no one could consistently come through for me.  The idea that God could think I'm beautiful seemed too good to be true.  The thought, frankly, made me uncomfortable.  It seemed arrogant or presumptuous, either way it seemed wrong.  But through the past five years God has revealed more and more scripture that speaks of His love for me, His thoughts toward me.  Psalm 45:11- The king is enthralled with your beauty.  Zephaniah 3:17- The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you with his love, he will exult over  you with loud singing.  Luke 8: 47-  Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet.  

Maybe this whole idea sounds too good to be true to you as well.  Maybe it makes you a little uncomfortable.  Maybe you used to feel beautiful, but age and society has changed your perspective on yourself.  Maybe it's circumstances and sin in your life that makes you feel as though you could never be considered beautiful by God.  I would challenge you to take your hearts desire to the Lord and let Him speak over you, let Him reveal the truth about who you are.  Let Him love you with His perfect and unconditional love and grace.  It's been a wonderful five year journey of God loving me to Him.  I look forward to the rest of this journey to come.