I was recently given the opportunity to go to a Women's Conference at our local church. I love conferences... I love getting together with women to worship God. Something about the sound of soprano and alto voices being lifted to the throne gives me goose bumps! I am so sure that God is smiling when he sees his daughters in one accord singing praises to their Father. As much as I love a women's event like this I was not totally convinced I was going to receive a "life changing word" from this event. I was just so sure that I was going to serve others more than to be served myself. To connect with some of my fellow lady church members and grow together more intimately. And those things did happen, but they were completely secondary to the message that the Lord, my sweet patient God, had for me.
Most of us have heard the passage of Peter walking on water enough times to recite it. Growing up in a Baptist Church means that you have been exposed to most of the "major" Bible stories by this point in your life. But yesterday God revealed to me in a completely new way how this story is so relevant in my life right now. Let me set up our situation so this is better understood... Travis, my husband, and some wonderful a friend, (family really) were given the opportunity to start a remodel, reconstruction, handy-work business at the start of 2014. This was a situation that we had been praying about for a year or so and really felt as though God was providing this opportunity. So we took it, and all the risks that come with owning your own business. The unsure hours, unsure pay, unsure futures... all of it. Now for the most part this has been a beautiful picture of God empowering these two men and making them stronger leaders in our families. But on the flip side of that coin it has revealed some ugly places in my heart as a wife and mother of two children who depend on me to feed them. *note-I do completely recognize that it is my husbands job to provide the money, but I cook the food ;) So here we are, three months in, and God has been providing, He has given everything we needed in the moments we needed it. But I was still struggling to let go of the fears of instability, though I completely believed in my husbands' abilities, but businesses fail everyday right? Now back to Peter...
In the story Jesus was up on a mountain by Himself, praying, spending some alone time with His Father. He had just fed the 5,000 and probably was in desperate need of some peace and quiet. (as a mother of two children under 3 I can totally relate, some days I wish I had a mountain top to escape to!) The disciples had gotten in the boat and set sail. They were relatively far out so what does Jesus do to catch His ride? Well, He walks on the water of course... just steps right out into the crashing waves and howling wind and starts walking! When the disciples look out across the water they see this man walking toward them, and they think they are seeing a ghost... which, let's be honest, is just as probable as a man walking on top of the water. Jesus calls out to them and reveals His identity, at this point Peter, good ole Peter, says "If it's You, Lord let me walk on the water with You." Now, I can totally relate to Peter. He usually doesn't think before he speaks, he says pretty much whatever comes into his mind, and usually ends up with his foot in his mouth. But he LOVES Jesus. In fact, Jesus tells Peter in a later story that upon this rock (Peter) He will build his church. Peter is a man loved by Jesus and completely in love with Him, but he is a bit over-eager at times. So, after Peter says this Jesus' response was "Come". I love that, Jesus was like "okay big boy, you wanna try walking on water, step out of that boat". Now, you have to give Peter some credit here, he is the only disciple that's asking to walk on water, and he actually steps out of the safety of the boat. What is his reward? He walks on water!!! Peter steps out onto the uncertainty of the crashing waves and whipping winds and walks on water with His Savior! He was doing pretty good too, until he started looking at the waves and the wind around him and takes his eyes off of Jesus, then he starts to sink. However, even in his fear and doubt he calls out to Jesus and says help me Lord! And Jesus immediately reached out His hand and raised him out of the water. He then looks at Peter and says "oh you of little faith". And back into the safety and security of the boat they went.
This story resonates so deeply in my soul. First of all, I long to be like Peter when he simply believed in Jesus and stepped out of the boat. He didn't think about the consequences or the uncertainty of the water, he just stepped out. Secondly, I want to fix my eyes upon my Savior, look full in Jesus' loving eyes and be completely focused solely on Him as I walk on the water. Can you imagine what it must have felt like for those few moments that Peter was successfully walking on top of the water? What freedom!? What intimacy with Jesus!? MAN, I want that! What if Peter had never taken His eyes off of the Lord and looked at the waves around him? What if he had stayed focused on Jesus? How long would they have walked around out there? Thirdly, I don't want to stay in the safety of my boat, even if I do sink I want to completely trust in Jesus to be there to take my hand and pull me out of the water. So, I listed out my fears and God's response to those fears in this passage... it looks like
Fears Answers
Failure- sinking into the water Jesus was there and immediately took Peter by the hand
Disapproval- the rest of the disciples in the boat Not everyone got to experience even one second of water walking
Struggle-the crashing waves and whipping wind Peter still walked even amidst the storm, and Jesus can calm the storm any time He sees fit (see a couple different places in the Bible)
So there you have it. All of you water walkers who desire not comfort, but closeness with Jesus, this is it! We have to step out of the boat! We must transfix our eyes on our Savior and refuse to look to the left or the right. It is a risk, but oh how great the reward!
