Authenticity and Forgiveness

     In the past few weeks I have spoken with a lot of women about one common theme... authenticity, more importantly their desire for it in their own lives and the lives of those they are in relationship with. So this has gotten me thinking, why is authenticity so hard to come across and so hard to accomplish? In my own life authenticity is at constant battle with the opinions others have of me. I am constantly battling thoughts like “Does she like me?” “Why don't they want to talk to me?” “Am I really okay?” and so on.

     Well after spending some serious time with the Lord today I have come to the conclusion that authenticity begins with forgiveness. Allow me to explain my thinking: you see in order to be authentic we must be vulnerable with those around us. We must allow them to see us for who we really are, not the rosy picture that we so desperately paint as to hide the areas we are most afraid of exposing. In order to do this impossible task we must understand that God longs to forgive those hidden areas if we are willing to confess our downfalls and accept His forgiveness.

     Then comes the work of forgiving ourselves. Now, I must admit that I am so bad at this. I am so hard on myself. I look in the mirror more days than not and have to reinforce the truth that God has spoken over me “You are forgiven and loved.” Even though I hold this knowledge in my head I must make it a reality in my heart before I am able to be authentic with those in my life. I must acknowledge my imperfections and faults, accept forgiveness from the Lord, and then choose to walk in the love He has given me.

     As if that is not enough hard work, authenticity also requires forgiveness of others. When you are being authentic you are vulnerable to other parties reaction to your authenticity. What if they reject you? What if they can't see your true intentions? What if they hurt you? These are all realities of a fallen world with human beings living in it. But when we are hurt by the actions of others we must go back to the truth that God says about us “You are forgiven and loved.” On the flip side of that same coin we must offer grace to one another in our journey to authenticity. Each person is on a different place on the journey, each person is dealing with their beliefs about themselves and others, each person will make mistakes along the way.

     Authenticity may be desired and even expected in our relationships, but in order to be authentic we must first be full of grace and completely assured of the Lord's love and forgiveness for us. Through forgiveness of ourselves and of others comes freedom to be the authentic version of who God created us to be. And that person is worthy of being known.