Heavy

Have you ever had one of those days that you knew from the moment you woke up that it wasn’t going to be an easy one?  Like your dreams were prepping you for a long haul?  This is one of those days… I can’t put my finger on the root of the problem either… my heart just feels… heavy?  I guess that’s the word I will use.  My heart feels heavy.  The weather is beautiful, warm, (read hot and humid really I mean we are talking about Tennessee summers) sunny, and for some reason that makes it worse, like the weather is mocking me and my heavy heart.  Days like today, when I feel gloomy and down, I just wish it would be rainy and agree with my countenance.  I’m not really even sure why I’m writing today, I don’t really have an encouraging word or a lesson that I feel like God is trying to teach me.  I just felt like typing away and allowing my mind and heart to flow freely.  I know that God is present with me, I know He knows my heart better than I do, He knows the root of my heaviness.  This is just one of those moments where it’s like my soul recognizes that it is living in a world that it doesn’t really belong in.  I can feel it yearning for more, more intimacy with God, more healing in my broken places.  I keep repeating the verse in Zephaniah that says that God will quiet me with His love and rejoice over me with singing.  I believe that song today is one that sounds more like a lullaby, a little mournful, full of longing.  I know I won’t stay in this place long, I know that the fullness and joy of the Lord will pull me out of this temporary sadness and frustration.  I know the Lord will take my heavy heart and give me rest.  I know that it is well with my soul even now.  This is where I am in this moment on this day. 

When peace like a river attendeth my way

When sorrows like sea billows roll

Whatever my lot Thou hast taught me to say

It is well, It is well with my soul.