I am a woman whose heart yearns for realness. Realness for myself, but also realness for women around me, for I know with realness comes freedom! I long for greater confidence in Christ and hope to inspire those I come into contact with to feel the same. This is a blog about my journey to transform into something more beautiful, something more real, like a butterfly. These are ponderings from a willing heart.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

When the seas are calm...


The past couple months have been full of good things… blessings from the Lord.  Travis’ new job is going really well, he loves what he is doing and he is doing it so well!  I am ALMOST done with my Master’s degree (graduation is May 12th; I can see the finish line!)  Our 5 year wedding anniversary is at the end of this month (we have been together for almost nine years, if you don’t know our story).  We are really digging in and serving at our church and getting to know our church family more and more.  Things are going pretty smoothly at the moment.  My tendency, my natural urge, is to worry about what is coming in the future.  I find myself thinking “what is the next storm going to look like, what will it consist of, what will it mean for me?” I am such a “worrier” and have serious control issues.  Throughout the years I have been more comfortable in the midst of a storm than sailing the smooth seas.  At least when I’m in the storm it’s not in the category of “the unknown”.  This is crazy I know, I mean who in their right mind would say such a thing?  God really spoke to me during my prayer time this morning and reminded me of a scripture in Proverbs, a scripture I should be completely familiar with considering I have just done not one but two studies on the subject matter.  (I am a slow learner and usually have to learn things the hard way, not a characteristic I am particularly proud of)  The verse is Proverbs 31:25; “She is clothed with strength and dignity, she can laugh at the days to come”.  This verse doesn’t say “there will be nothing bad in the days to come”, it doesn’t give us the illusion that the days to come are going to be easy and storm free.  Instead, what this verse says is that because of the God-given strength and dignity of this woman she is able to look at calamity in the face and LAUGH?!  God reminded me that He is the author and creator of my soul, He is the writer of my story, and He alone knows what is impending in the future.  All He asks of me is that I trust in Him; love Him with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength.  When I am doing this well I truly can “laugh at the days to come”, if my God is for me who or what could be against me?  So this is what I am learning:  I am learning to be content in the times of blessing and calm, I am learning to “be still and know that He is God”, I am learning to sail the seas in the moment of calm preparing for the next storm by trusting in the Captain (I mean that only makes sense considering He created the seas), I am learning that my strength and dignity comes not from myself but from God, I am learning to “laugh at the days to come”. 

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