First of all, I have learned a couple of things about myself. I have learned I am great in crisis. I mean really, in the moment of tragedy, you will want me at your side. I get this strange calm that takes over. Everything is super clear, I know that was God, I know He was upholding me. He gives us strength in our weakest moments. On the flip side of that coin, when the calm comes after the storm, when I get still and process, I struggle with tremendous amounts of anxiety after-the-fact. So that's where I am today, the dust is settling, Levi is healing wonderfully, and life is returning to "normal". So now is when I begin my struggle with anxiety, I am working really hard on surrendering this to God at this time, He says "cast all your cares upon Me, My yoke is easy and my burden is light".
So that's what brings me to these past couple of days, a heart struggling with anxiousness, and a knowledge that I have a God who cares about that. A sweet friend of mine, she was once my "watch care momma" (basically an adoptive mom through the church I attended while I was in college), she has been involved in my life for eight years now and I am so grateful for her wisdom and willingness to share her heart with me and my family... she brought me a book a couple of weeks ago called "Rules for the Red Sea". It has been a tool that God has used over and over again to remind me of some truths that I have known but that are so easy to forget in the time of crisis. If you are in a trial or know someone who is, this little book is worth the investment. So I began reading about a week ago and the story of the Israelites had some great parallels in my life now. I opened up my Bible and decided I wanted to see what God's Word had to say about these circumstances and a couple of things became very clear to me.
First, that God is in control of ALL things. It says in Exodus 13: 17-18 that God led the people of Israel out of Egypt and into the wilderness instead of going into the land of the Philistines (which would have been a more direct route). His reason? "Lest the people change their minds when they see war and return to Egypt." God took them on a more lengthy journey because He knew what their hearts could and could not handle. He was protecting them, even though they may never have known from what. Sometimes I feel like I know a shorter way through the journey, a way that would get me there faster, but God doesn't allow me to travel that path, I may never know why or what He was protecting me from. But I can be assured that this is what is best for me and my family.
Second, that God will get His glory, because He alone is worthy. And that is the whole point of us being on this earth, to bring Him glory, so the whole earth will know Him. In Exodus 14: 1-20 the Bible tells us the story of how the Israelites arrived at the Red Sea. It says God told Moses to lead the people of Israel into a "rock and a hard place" type scenario, "the wilderness has shut them in" and their backs were to the sea. Then God said "I will harden Pharaoh's heart, and he will pursue them, and I will get glory over Pharaoh and all his host and the Egyptians will know that I am the Lord." So the scene is set, the Israelites in a hopeless scenario and for what? For God to get His glory in the land of the Egyptians. When I read that statement it struck my heart and it was like there was a light that turned on in the darkness. This is it, this is the whole reason that "bad things happen to good people". God's glory and His worship is the end game. It is the way that the world can see Him most clearly, when God is glorified and lifted up.
The story continues... The Egyptians are pressing in and the Israelites are terrified (and rightfully so) and they cry out to the Lord. And what is God's response? "Fear not, stand firm,and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The Lord will fight for you, and you have only need to be still." (vv. 13 &14)
So that is what I am doing, I am actively being still and allowing God to fight for me. When the walls are closing in and the enemy is drawing near. When the sea is at our backs and there is no apparent escape. God says, "watch and see". It isn't a passive lack of care or laziness, it is an active choice to stand still. Stand still and listen for God's next command, we never know when that sea will part and He will say "follow me into a miracle".
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