God never tells us to figure it out on our own. He tells us to come to Him in humility...
2 Chronicles 7:14...if My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from Heaven and will forgive their sins and heal their land.
Psalm 25:9 He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble His way
So this is where I am, I am confessing my sin of pride and asking God to continue to teach me about humility and vulnerability. And I am learning to pray, pray first, talk later (if at all). Take it to the only One who can really satisfy my heart. And ask, ask in faith. Because God tells me...
Psalm 84:11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield, he bestows favor and honor. No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.
Matthew 6:33 Seek first, the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.
There it is... the truth in all of this, the answer to all things. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. That is my goal. I am learning to delight myself in God first, not myself, not my dreams. Those are important to God too! He wants to give me the desires of my heart. BUT FIRST, I seek His Kingdom and His righteousness and learn to delight in Him!
Thank you God for this place. This hard place, this place of uncertainty, this place of stretching. I know that You are here, I know that you are near to me. I ask for you to continue to teach me humility, continue to teach me to delight only in You! To take my dreams, fears, and desires to You and trust in You to deliver. You are worthy of all my trust, all my hope, all my faith, You alone. I am Yours.
When I think I'm going under
part the waters Lord
When I feel the waves surround me,
calm the sea
When I cry for help Oh hear me Lord
and hold out Your hand
Touch my life
still the raging storm in me
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