Security

    Within the past few months pretty much every single thing that I knew to be certain in my life has changed.  If you have followed my blog at all since this summer I have talked about many of these changes. First of all, this time last year I was pregnant trying to decide what I was going to do with Lynnlee whenever I went back to work.  I soon gave my worries and fears over to the Lord and made the choice to stay at home with LJ.  This was going to be a HUGE sacrifice, financially, for Travis and I.  We were sure this was what God was calling me to but the fear was still there. Then came the transition from pregnancy to "mommy-hood".  This came quite a bit earlier than anticipated when Lynnlee made her entrance into the world 6 weeks earlier than her scheduled time!  Though this was unexpected, Lynnlee was healthy, she just wanted an earlier start!  There have also been several friendships fade out and others become prominent in this time period.  Some dissipated for reasons unknown, others for lack of common desires.  The relationships that began, as others came to a gradual end, have proven to be a blessing from the Lord during my time in transition.  Travis and I also made the difficult decision to change churches.  Though this choice was not an easy one, it has proven to be the best thing for our family.  The Lord has continued to bless us for our obedience, but for me to say I was completely secure in my decisions throughout all of these situations would be a lie.  I constantly questioned myself, my gifts, what I had to offer.  Each new arena brought out new insecurities about myself.  Would I be a good enough "stay-at-home-mom"?  What would people think about my choice not to use my degree at this time?  What would people say about Travis and I changing churches?  All of these thoughts plagued my every move.  Within the past few weeks God has been dealing with my thoughts, fears, and concerns about myself and my decisions.  I know that in all of these moves Travis and I have made the choices together.  That alone gives me a little security, Travis is in my corner, he has my back.  Another comfort is knowing that God is strong enough for each and every circumstance I encounter, good or bad.  No matter my situation I can find contentment and comfort in His enduring love and unmatchable strength.  I know that in ALL of life's many ups and downs, in all of my fears and insecurities, in all of the uncertainties that will come my way, GOD is present and active.  He does not sleep nor does He slumber,  He sees and knows each of my fears and offers comfort if I am willing to trust in Him.  I pray that I would continue to find my security in the Lord, not the world!  That I would trust My Creator to tell me the truth about myself, not society, not even the church.  If we cheapened ou worth to what the world says of us, we will miss out on the blessing that comes with taking steps in faith and believing in the sovereignty and goodness of God!  For to live, to truly live in the freedom of the Lord, is Christ! Anything other than that is a cheap knock-off that will leave us wanting.